“Happiness depends upon ourselves”

—Aristotle

Are you crying for help?

 

To start this post, I’d like to share a story with you.

There was a woman desperately asking for help because she tried everything to find peace and happiness in her heart but still, she was in a lot of emotional pain.

She had “a fantastic relationship” and suddenly discovered that it was not as great as she thought.

Due to external circumstances, she had to move to another state and they had to separate.

When she moved out, she felt unfulfilled, empty and realized that she was trying to get happiness from someone else: basically everything her partner did to make her happy was “gone.”

Part of her “growth” process–she thought, was to speak with her partner and clearly tell him what she wanted, but to her disappointment, he didn’t behave in the way she expected.

She felt hurt and offended because he didn’t make the time to travel and visit her.

Then, as a result of his behavior, she felt so lonely that was almost unbearable. She didn’t know how to handle this new situation. She even tried yoga and meditations, but was feeling in more pain than before…

When I read it, it seemed to me that I was reading my old story… the way I used to be.

Lately I realized how much I have learned in the last years, and felt very grateful.

You see, we grow up in a definition of love, where if the other person loves you, then he “should want” to be with you as much as possible.

We also try to control the situations (and of course the other person), but everything goes to deaf ears.

In our healing process, sometimes we are capable of recognizing that we are behaving like victims and it bothers us, yet it still hurts and we don’t know what to do about it.

So, what’s wrong here?

Let’s analyze this situation:

  1. She is trying to control her partner’s behavior. Remember the only person you can control is yourself.
  2. As much as you may try, nobody is going to be the way you want, only to make you happy. The sure road to be unhappy is to try to change other people.
  3. The other mistake is try to find “fulfillment” on the outside, because nothing external is permanent. The only person who is with you 24/7 is YOU.
  4. We can only feel other people’s love to the same level that we love ourselves. Shocking truth, I know!

When we were babies, we used to love ourselves without judgement or rejection.

It’s time to reconnect with our essence and start feeling and receiving love again!

So, the big question here is,

How do you start loving yourself?

You start by dedicating time to your happiness, that is, to dedicate time for yourself.

Here are some things you can do to feel better instantly:

  • Change your environment, if you feel depressed at home, go out. If you are outside, go to a place where you feel safe.
  • Laugh. Look for anything that makes you laugh.
  • Do something you enjoy doing, take classes of what you would like to learn or do some research on it.
  • Fill your soul with things that make you happy and reconnect with yourself.
  • Take advantage of this time being alone and just be yourself.
  • Feed your mind with positive messages.
  • Find out what you want, and use your time in there.
  • Let go of other people’s judgement. Live your life in your own terms.

And please, trust me on this:

  • You are beautiful,
  • You are lovable,
  • You are worthy,
  • And you are perfect for your purpose here on Earth!

I mean it: the world needs the gifts you, and only you have.

It takes the same amount of effort from your part to create the life of your dreams than to create a meaningless life, so make your choice. 

If you want to learn more about this topic, and to know the steps to recover from emotional pain, read my book Happiness Your 7 Mind Powers.

The best is yet to come!